Reading a sign about braziers.
Karzan: Use of brassieres is at your own risk.
Karzan: My biggest problem with this country is that they don't sell shoelaces in obvious places; and even when they do, they're deceptive shoelaces.
Wychwood (about YogSothoth): He was just jumping up and down, bouncing forlornly on the end of this stick.
Arcita: For a while I had some VERY BIG knickers, but they dissolved.
Mtf: I get the impression that there have been too many Turfmeets.
Mtf's glass explodes spontaneously.
Mtf (to his new glass of coke): I think Turf Meets are absolutely fabulous!
Fastjack: Why do we have no sex change spell on Turf?
Mtf: Because we have talker elements.
Cera (to Karzan): Do you know what money is?
Passing a store.
Karzan: Office Angels ... does that sound like an escort service to anyone else?
Mtf (on falling into a puddle): Mtf creates a spring.
Fastjack: My balls are escaping!
Fastjack: Actually, I prefer going around nude.
Jaffa: It's a bit like castrating people so they keep their voice.
Jaffa: Do you actually find that chair comfortable sitting there in the corner with the damp?
Fastjack: It smells a little.
Mango: I'm having trouble telling green from pink.
Fastjack: There is no pink...
Fastjack: Yay! The game, in all its benevolence has decided not to kill me!
On the way to the airport with Fastjack's enourmous box
Fastjack: Are you sure you can carry that?
Cera: Of course, I wouldn't have taken it if - *whump*
Karzan: Hey, is that one of those breast-milk substitute bisuits?
Karzan: Are the people at that other table talking about good-looking sheep?
Zartid: What about good-looking sheep?
Fastjack: Karzan gets very gesticulative like this when he's drunk.
Karzan: 'Gesticulative', that sounds like it has something to do with gesticles or something...
Playing How to be a Complete *...
Fastjack: Too bad about that pair of underpants.
Brine: They just didn't stretch enough for you, did they?
After playing How to be a Complete *...
Fastjack: It's just feels very odd having someone nuzzling your armpit.
Bazza: Kano is a character in Mortal Kombat.
Karzan: Which character?
At night on the way back to the tents from the toilets
Brine: Those clouds do look very dark...
Karzan: Everything looks very dark...
On the beach after a few (in most cases, many in one case) pints.
Karzan apologising to Brine for being so drunk.
Brine: Its okay, but please stop talking to me shoulder.
On the (sharply curved) M6 slip road to Lancaster in Zartid's car at 75 mph.
Mango: So tell me, James, which player is most likely to have read the Kama Sutra?
Fastjack: What's the Kama Sutra?
At the obscene statue of Queen Victoria
Loon: I thought it was supposed to be Queen Victoria...
Karzan: That puts a whole new spin on "off with his head".
Discussing lunch, following the suggestion of the Fish and Chips nearby
Karzan: Do they have chips there?
Karzan: This is really good.
Karzan: Or maybe I'm just really bad at cooking...
Psymon: The problem is, there's no tobacco really, in it ...
Hiero and Rick: Problem ... problem??
Herring (right next to microphone): Is it recording?
Gwrach: There's always someone on every recording who stands right next to it and goes "Is it recording?"
Hiero: Hello? Hello?
Thrud: And it's always the bright one of the group.
Unattributed: Poor old Psymon's sitting in the corner rolling joint after joint...
Unattributed: Lucky *.
Hiero (to Rick and Gwrach): So, you'll be on the same train but carriages apart ... so it'll be like "SO, WHAT DID YOU THINK??"
After a photo Jagaloth: Excellent, I must be stoned, I'm seeing flashes of light!
Hiero: Whose is that head I'm treading on?
Handing round joint
Unattributed: This does not happen at Turf meetings.
Unattributed: This is what we didn't do at a Turfmeet.
Herring: I just woke up and thought "Why the * am I sleeping in a cupboard?"
Hiero: The candle turned into a bonfire...and a conflagaration [sic].
Rone: I think someone's eaten my shoes.
Psymon: I probably ate them ... my mouth feels like it.
Hiero: If you thought you were eating leather, that was the kebab, mate.
Druss: I ate some of the paper bag and didn't notice.
Hiero: After you finish eating it you think ... "I'm sure I had a paper bag and a plastic fork."
Regarding Rone's lost fleece
Rone: You slept on it?
Thrud: Oh ... was that the thing against the wall?
Hiero: Was that a nice pillow? And do you drool much?
Thrud: I got a proper pillow ... something with feathers in anyway.
Herring: You mean a duck?
Hiero: No, a duck has feathers on, not in ... an inside-out duck perhaps.
Thrud: *! I didn't see the new adventures of Superman yesterday.
Herring: Don't sleep with a can of beer on your stomach.
Rick: Man who sleep with can of beer, get wet bottom.
Hiero: Sleep with can of beer, get wet bottom you will.
Herring: I didn't bring my cow out once.
Thrud: Yeah you did bring it out, sorry ...
Rick: It's big, it's plastic, and it's in my hand.
Thrud: And it's not my cow ...
Herring (confused): What, someone else's???
Unattributed: I think everyone's lost something ...
Rick: Sanity ... brain cells, my remaining few ...
Hiero: I've lost my central left liver lobe.