Quotes from Turf
Deaths
Zartid chats 'The proctor splatting crew is here!'
Zartid has been killed by the proctor.
Naka has been killed by the proctor.
Michael has been killed by the proctor.
Cameltoeii has been killed under mysterious
circumstances.
Fans has been killed under mysterious circumstances.
Michael has been killed under mysterious circumstances.
Naka has been killed under mysterious circumstances.
Zartid has been killed under mysterious circumstances.
Golden has been killed by the proctor.
Waxxers has been killed by the proctor.
Mtf has been killed by the proctor.
Golden has been killed by the proctor.
Mtf has been killed by the proctor.
Mango chats 'Hello Karzan. Come and join the Armageddon splatting crew.'
Karzan chats 'who goes splat, armageddon or the crew?'
Mtf has been killed by the vampire's guardian vampire.
Mtf chats 'anybody who wants to help me is welcome to join in'
Mango chats 'Mostly the crew'
Mango waves.
Mango isn't going to be really stupid like last time this time.
Mango drops a flaming Molotov cocktail.
You (Fastjack) get a flaming Molotov cocktail.
You drop a flaming Molotov cocktail.
Mango says 'Last time I killed *my* pet'
You get a flaming Molotov cocktail.
Mango says 'this time i'm going to kill yours'
You give a flaming Molotov cocktail to an Adelie penguin.
Mango disappears into a lassi.
You say 'no you're not'
Mango gives you a flaming Molotov cocktail.
Mango arrives in a shower of fruit.
You give a flaming Molotov cocktail to an Adelie penguin.
Mango disappears into a lassi.
Mango gives you a flaming Molotov cocktail.
You give a flaming Molotov cocktail to an Adelie penguin.
You hear something's death cry.
You tell your friends 'gotcha!'
SirHumphrey asks you 'so what does this killer thing mean?'
The proctor shouts 'SirHumphrey is a KILLER! Serve the public trust!
Protect the innocent! Uphold the law!'
The proctor shouts 'SirHumphrey is a KILLER! Serve the public trust!
Protect the innocent! Uphold the law!'
SirHumphrey has been killed by the proctor.
SirHumphrey has fallen to level 35.
SirHumphrey has fallen to position 4 in the second division.
SirHumphrey chats '* *'
Bluevelvet chats 'awwww SirH, too bad'
* (5) SirHumphrey tells his friends 'that proctor is ******* dead when i
get to ELITE'
* (5) SirHumphrey tells his friends '******* *******'
* (5) SirHumphrey tells his friends 'i will ******* **** *** *********
****'
* (5) SirHumphrey tells his friends '500 ******* xp that ******* took
off the ***** ******* thing'
* (5) SirHumphrey is not happy about that.
* (10) Bluevelvet comforts SirH.
Michael has been killed by Kinslaughterer.
Michael has entered the league at position 9 in the first division.
Bluevelvet chats 'Grats Michael!'
Michael chats 'thanks Bluevelvet, I really enjoyed that'
Bluevelvet chats 'what? that I spelled your name right? :)'
Hemlock chats 'You congratulated him for dying. ;)'
Pawn has been killed by the virgin maiden.
Pawn chats '*'
Alf chats 'tried to get a little to close i see'
Pawn chats 'well I guess it wouldn't work.. she wouldn't be a virgin
maiden, afterall'
Pawn asks you 'which is easier to kill, easy kill or no match?'
You (Fastjack) tell Pawn 'nm'
Pawn tells you 'thanks'
Pawn tells you 'I can't find any perfect matches in Rickland, even
though it's supposd to be 25-35'
You ask Pawn 'look deeper?'
Pawn tells you 'ok'
Pawn tells you 'uH oh, found some'
Jarvis has been killed by Grunt Mitchell.
Pawn has been killed by Nerys Hughs.
You emote to Pawn: Fastjack sniggers.
Pawn tells you 'not happy about this'
Pawn the level 59 warrior has signed on.
Pawn chats 'hello Fastjack'
Pawn chats 'I killed your headless horseman, ha ha ha'
Pawn has been killed by the Headless Horseman.
Pawn has fallen to level 56.
You emote to chatters: Fastjack snickers.
You wake and stand up.
You hear the gentle hiss of air flowing in from your tanks.
You utter the words, 'sanctuary'.
You are surrounded by a white aura.
Mtf's fireball boils the water around you.
Mtf's fireball tickles you.
The fireball hits Mtf.
You miss Mtf.
Mtf's slice misses you.
Mtf utters the word, 'fireball'.
Mtf's fireball boils the water around you.
Mtf's fireball ribs you.
The fireball maims Mtf!
You utter the words, 'acid blast'.
Your acid blast swirls into the water towards Mtf.
The acid blast strokes you.
Mtf's slice misses you.
Mtf's slice misses you.
Mtf utters the word, 'fireball'.
Mtf's fireball boils the water around you.
Mtf's fireball ribs you.
The fireball PULVERISES Mtf!
You utter the words, 'acid blast'.
Your acid blast swirls into the water towards Mtf.
Mtf parries your attack.
Mtf's slice misses you.
Mtf's slice misses you.
Mtf utters the word, 'fireball'.
Mtf's fireball boils the water around you.
Mtf's fireball ribs you.
The fireball *** ANNIHILATES *** Mtf!
Mtf has been defeated in arena combat by Mtf.
Turf
Frog chats 'Hey NikNak, could you skip a couple of trivia questions,
btw? :)'
Frog chats 'Or else I'll have to arrange for a gang of hired goons to
come and beat your computer senseless with frozen salmon.'
* (4) NikNak is almost out of lipstick... rats.
* (4) Mango tells her friends 'If I didn't know better, that would sound
like a very bizarre statement.'
* (4) NikNak is secure enough in his sexuality that he has worn lipstick
before...
* NikNak now wishes he'd come to the meet - Therapy is great fun.
* NikNak tells your friends 'and I *do* have a copy of Kama Sutra :)'
* NikNak tells your friends 'it's still fun to look at the pictures
though :) And to tick them off :)'
. Bluevelvet has very little chance of spreading the plague around, note
that she is not in a high risk group.
* (8) Karzan wonders if it's sad that there are so many people turfing
on valentine's day.
(8) You tell Karzan's friends 'Define sad.'
* (8) Mtf thought it was good for husband and wife to do something
together on valentines day? :-)
(8) You tell Karzan's friends 'You always Turf though.'
* (8) Cera grins.
* (8) Mtf tells Karzan's friends 'lucky us, doing something so much fun
together every day!
Bluevelvet wonders if Cera would let her have a pig in her room.
Fastjack says 'no, but I could hang out there whenever I'm on'
Brine wartalks 'have we lost this other 224 million
down the back of the clan sofa?'
Midas wartalks 'FIND THAT SOFA'
Trub says 'Mango wasn't called Mango, Eliza wasn't here and FJ was about
level 20-something and stuck there, when I used to play properly'
You (Bluevelvet) exclaim 'so fj was stuck at level 20!'
Trub says 'for ages, he was this annoying yank teenager who used to log
on and sit in his room called "Fastjack's fast track", occasionally
making geeky comments and getting the * taken out of him by
Pelopidas'
Bluevelvet laughs!!
Trub says 'having said that, everybody had the * taken out of them by
Pelopidas'
NikNak chats 'if Lara Croft is searching for a compass, why is there one
in her invenory?'
SirHumphrey chats 'erm i take it you're talking tomb raider?'
NikNak chats 'nope in Pixel in here'
. SirHumphrey tries to unlag to go have a look.
NikNak chats 'she's a little dead at the moment'
Midas chats 'It's turf, do you really need to ask?'
. Mango likes Midas's answer :)
. NikNak was most amused by "the snakes leg flies off"
. Midas has asked about that I think.
Mango chats 'legs flying off snakes is fixable if you typo it :)'
. NikNak is amused by it though.
Mango chats 'you're easily amused :)'
. NikNak nods.
. Midas grins.
NikNak chats 'why do you think I'm here?'
Katie has reached level 53.
Alf chats 'gratz katie'
Agrak chats 'gratz Katie'
Zartid chats 'Grats Katie!'
Katie chats 'thanks all'
Futang chats 'Gratz Katie'
You wartalk 'Well done Katie.'
Katie wartalks 'thanks Mango'
Karzan chats 'i have decided that since i have not levelled in a while,
i am lacking in congratulations'
Karzan chats 'i henceforth congratulate myself on my unwavering
stability at level 37'
You chat 'Well done on maintaining a very stable clan contribution.'
Karzan chats 'thank you, thank you'
Katie chats 'i congratulate you karzan! :)'
. Futang wipes a tear from his eye as he pins a medal on Karzan.
Karzan chats 'oh, you shouldn't have'
Futang chats 'Give it back then'
Karzan chats 'no'
Zartid drivels 'grats Karzan :)'
Futang chats 'Then I guess I should hav'
Futang chats 'Then I guess I should havee'
Karzan chats 'i'd like to dedicate this medal to everyone who helped me
get here'
Karzan chats 'namely those brave souls who sat in their rooms idling to
provide emotional support while i did the same'
Bazza: the poison misses you. poison doesn't miss. how about something a little
more realistic.
[ 9887] Teator: does bug really work? or does it just ignore me cos of the bad
signal to noise ratios i produce?
: Futang gives Karzan a plaque for his accomplishments.
Brine wartalks 'as long as we stay at the top of the clans list we will
all be happy'
You wartalk 'He got beaten up doing typos.'
You wartalk 'iirc.'
Karzan wartalks 'you mean beaten up for offensive typos?'
: Futang grins.
Karzan wartalks 'i think that's a turf first actually, getting 2
warnings for offensive typos'
You wartalk 'Yeah, Cera said last week when she visited that she'd made
the mobs in an area be more aggressive to you the more typos you
submit.'
: Karzan giggles.
: Futang imagines that he could beat anyone in his clan if he tried...
Katie wartalks 'ekk'
Futang wartalks 'you're kidding'
Karzan wartalks 'if cera doesn't like me doing it she should invest in a
spellchecker :)'
Katie wartalks 'right'
: Brine thinks Futang probably could.
You wartalk 'I suspect you may get a gift of an oxford english
dictionary in the post shortly. :)'
Karzan wartalks 'I don't see why, the only word Mtf seemed to disagree
with was licorice'
: Futang wonders if anyone wants to try >:)
You wartalk 'liquorice :)'
Frog wartalks 'That's right... why did he disagree?'
Karzan wartalks 'in britain it's apparently liquorice'
Karzan wartalks 'but that's the only word he said i got wrong'
You wartalk 'It's your natural brillo-pad like personality'
Karzan wartalks 'must be'
Oakey chats 'can anyone recommend an area for lvl 18 to go alone?'
Mango chats 'the land, you'll go to the grave alone there'
Zartid has reached position 7 in the third division.
Zartid chats 'Well done!'
Zartid chats 'ooops, that was me :)'
Nice chats 'hi meghana'
Editor's Note: not funny, but possibly the only time anyone will ever see Nice chat a greeting to anyone.
You emote to your friends: Fastjack of course, we do need SOMETHING to
counterbalance all the player-friendly ideas going in next reboot.
* Mango tells your friends 'halve everyone's current hp'
* Jupiter asks your friends 'Player friendly ideas?'
* Mango tells your friends 'max current hp that is'
You emote to your friends: Fastjack hands Mango the Lead Pipe Award.
You tell your friends 'You'll see'
* Jupiter asks your friends 'You mean more suppression of information?'
You emote to your friends: Fastjack attempts a cryptic look.
* Jupiter nods.
You tell your friends 'actually, you get more information now - that's
player friendly'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Great :)'
You emote to your friends: Fastjack is trying Mtf's tactic of silence
this week, having been mocked as too open.
* Jupiter tells your friends 'I shall make a comment to him about how
you were being "characteristically secretive"'
You tell your friends 'Hmm - if you don't mind - You'll get a sarky
reply though'
* Mango tells your friends 'don't you mean uncharacteristically
secretive'
* Jupiter exclaims to your friends 'That's what I was thinking!'
* Mango tells your friends 'rather than characteristcally secretive'
* Mango exclaims to your friends 'but it sounds good!'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'No, I'm going to make it sound like I can
never prise the information out of him'
You tell your friends 'Dunno, "characteristically" might make it sound
like I'm secretive when he's not around ...'
* Mango tells your friends 'he knows damn well you're as easy to get
information out of as it is easy to get water out of a seive'
You drivel 'perfectly normal beast sandwich anyone?'
Fastjack drivels 'What's wrong with it?'
You drivel 'nothing, it's perfectly normal'
Loon drivels 'yes please'
Fastjack drivels 'that's worrying ...'
Loon appears in a swirling mist.
You say '20 coins'
Loon tried to steal from you.
You shout 'Loon is a thief!'
Loon tried to steal from you.
You shout 'Loon is a thief!'
Loon is booted from the room.
Setting a permanent bar flag for Loon.
Loon tells you 'interestingly as i quickly tried to buy a sandwich
before scarpering I ended up with a ham sandwich from the turf tavern'
You emote to Loon: Mango grins.
Morden asks 'What do you want?'
Morden asks 'What do you want?'
Morden asks 'What do you want?'
Morden asks 'What do you want?'
G Kar says 'Not many fishes left in the sea. Not many fishes, just
Londo and me. Not many fishes left in the sea. Not many fishes, just
Londo and me.'
G Kar says 'Not many fishes left in the sea. Not many fishes, just
Londo and me. Not many fishes left in the sea. Not many fishes, just
Londo and me.'
G Kar says 'Not many fishes left in the sea. Not many fishes, just
Londo and me. Not many fishes left in the sea. Not many fishes, just
Londo and me.'
Morden asks 'What do you want?'
Morden asks 'What do you want?'
G Kar says 'Not many fishes left in the sea. Not many fishes, just
Londo and me. Not many fishes left in the sea. Not many fishes, just
Londo and me.'
You exclaim 'i want you to shut up!'
You throw a steel sword upwards.
Slaughter chats 'whoa'
You wear a set of wherhide sleeves on your arms.
You throw a pair of wherhide gloves upwards
Slaughter chats 'a sword flew in'
Slaughter chats 'and gloves!'
You throw a dark cloak upwards.
Slaughter chats 'now this is freky'
Slaughter chats 'a cloak did too'
* (4) Pawn tells its friends 'fighting 3 people'
* (4) Pawn tells its friends 'time to flee'
* (4) Pawn tells its friends 'I SAID TIME TO FLEE'
* (4) Pawn tells its friends 'FLEE YOU MORON'
* (4) Pawn tells its friends 'DUMBASS PAWN'
* (4) Pawn tells its friends 'FLEE YOU DUMBASS'
* (4) Pawn tells its friends 'goddamnit'
(4) You tell Pawn's friends 'hehe'
* (4) Pawn is afraid this will show up on quotes page.
* (4) Pawn needs to stop dying so much in public.
(4) You tell Pawn's friends 'no, i think there's too
much cursing'
Mango's Bomb Shelter
[Exits: north east south west up down northeast southeast southwest northwest]
This is *Mango's* bomb shelter. Not the penguin's or anyone
elses. Therefore you cannot kill Mango with a bomb here, though
you may well exterminate the penguin (and annoy Mango).
(Invis) Penguin is here.
An Adelie penguin is here, flippers and all.
Slayer appears in a swirling mist.
You say 'Not flying out for another three weeks'
Penguin nods.
Penguin asks 'when you get there?'
You say 'a week ago'
Slayer says 'hi penguin'
Slayer sizes up Penguin.
Penguin says 'chirp'
You say 'Trying to get hold of Creme Fraiche over here is like trying to
buy alcohol without ID'
Penguin asks 'creme fraiche?'
You say 'Needed to make a nice curry'
Slayer asks 'mango who are you talking too?'
You say 'slightly soured cream, but not as much as sour cream'
Slayer says 'uhhh'
Penguin asks 'how abpout just buying a bad curry in stead?'
You say 'We tried that'
You say 'it was really bad'
Slayer asks 'HOW IS THE PENGUIN TALKING?!?!?'
Methos chats 'what's a black aura?'
Nog chats 'a black aura'
Methos chats 'what does it signify?'
Nog chats 'like a white aura'
Flik chats 'but a black one'
Fastfox chats 'it's...negative aligment I think'
Nog chats 'well you know what a white aura means?'
Methos chats 'yup or like a pink one'
Methos chats 'that's a red one'
Flik chats 'or even a red one'
Nog chats 'do you know what it means though?'
Methos chats 'no'
Methos chats 'not the black one'
Nog chats 'ahh well you'll find out'
Nog chats 'well black is opposite to white, so you can guess'
Nog chats 'as long as you know what the white one is'
Flik chats 'It makes you recieve double the damage from blows'
Methos chats 'well I killed it anyway'
Nog gets a strange green substance with a label from some F1 luggage.
Nog gets a strange magenta substance with a label from some F1 luggage.
Nog gets a strange snow white substance with a label from some F1
luggage.
Nog gets a strange yellow substance with a label from some F1 luggage.
Nog puts a strange yellow substance with a label in some F1 luggage.
Nog puts a strange snow white substance with a label in some F1 luggage.
Nog puts a strange magenta substance with a label in some F1 luggage.
Nog puts a strange green substance with a label in some F1 luggage.
Nog gets a strange magenta substance with a label from some F1 luggage.
Nog puts a strange magenta substance with a label in some F1 luggage.
Nog gets a strange snow white substance with a label from some F1
luggage.
Nog puts a strange snow white substance with a label in some F1 luggage.
Nog gets a strange shiny slate blue substance with a label from a W&H
suitcase.
Nog gets a strange sticky green substance with a label from a W&H
suitcase.
Nog gets a strange cyan substance with a label from a W&H suitcase.
Nog gets a strange sticky yellow substance from a W&H suitcase.
Nog gets a strange sticky brown substance from a W&H suitcase.
Nog gets a strange sticky green substance with a label from a W&H
suitcase.
Nog gets a strange shiny slate blue substance with a label from a W&H
suitcase.
Nog gets a strange magenta substance with a label from a W&H suitcase.
Nog says 'oh dear'
Nog says 'i'll move out of here so you don't get spammed whilst i work
out what drugs i have :/'
Torturing the Newbies
Raiserhead chats 'can the trojan horse be used for nething?'
You (Fastjack) chat 'yeah, carry it about a while and you'll find a use'
Raiserhead has been killed under mysterious circumstances.
Raiserhead chats 'fastjack!!!!'
You chat 'yes?'
Raiserhead chats 'now u told me to carry around the trojan horse'
Raiserhead chats 'and it just exploded'
You chat 'oh dear....'
Raiserhead chats 'and i died'
You chat 'that really was evil of me, wasn't it...'
Karzan drivels 'A hint to get extra points: type multi shout'
* (8) Karzan was hoping one of the lower level players would actually do
that.
(8) You emote to Karzan's friends: Trub hmms.
Trippin shouts 'd'
You (Trub) tell your friends 'YES'
Trippin shouts 'mulri shout'
You tell your friends 'ROFL ROFL ROFL'
* (8) Karzan tells his friends 'oh dear oh dear'
Trippin shouts 'exit multi mode'
You emote to your friends: Trub hi5s Karzan.
Trippin shouts 'whats whith this'
NikNak shouts 'lilu Multipass'
Trippin shouts 'multipass'
NikNak chats 'yes, shes *knows* it's a multipass'
. NikNak looks for his tickets to Floston Paradise.
Trippin shouts 'how do i get it off'
Karzan chats 'depends on your gender'
Trippin shouts 'please'
You shout 'Find somebody of the opposite sex and say "hey baby, wanna
lay down with me?"'
Trippin shouts 'why'
Trippin shouts 'please'
Karzan shouts 'to get it off'
NikNak shouts 'so that you can get off'
* (8) Karzan wonders if he should tell him.
Trippin shouts 'hey baby, wanna lay down with me'
! NikNak watches the shout channel get more use than it ever has done
before.
(8) You tell Karzan's friends 'No, it's too funny'
NikNak shouts 'I swing the other way'
* (8) NikNak tells Karzan's friends 'you weren't going to *tell* him
were you?'
* (8) Karzan wasn't.
* (8) NikNak points out that he can't even quit...
* (8) Karzan tells his friends 'but he's sounding very pathetic'
* (8) Karzan tells his friends 'good point'
* (8) NikNak tells Karzan's friends 'cos it'd be multi (shout) quit'
(WizInvis) Fastjack the level 39 mage has signed on
* (8) NikNak tells Karzan's friends 'here comes trouble'
Fastjack chats 'Hi all'
(8) You tell Karzan's friends 'Oh dear'
NikNak chats 'hey FJ'
(8) You tell Karzan's friends 'Now we're for it'
* (8) Karzan tells his friends 'I'm going to get in trouble for this now'
* (8) NikNak hides in a corner.
Trippin chats 'chat i see how do get it off'
You shout 'Look, when you find the right person, you'll just know'
* (8) NikNak tells Karzan's friends 'he might just be prefixing with \
all the time'
* (8) Karzan tells his friends 'Yes, it was amusing watching him shout
'hey baby why don't you lay down with me''
* (8) Teator tells Karzan's friends 'i guess the "Type ! to exit
multi-mode." is a bit of a hint.'
* (8) Karzan tells his friends 'yeah you'd think he'd catch on to that'
Midas wartalks 'is there an emote for wartalk?'
: Karzan wemotes.
You wartalk 'That's not your usual style of answer
Karzan... far too helpful. "yes" would have been more normal. :)'
Mascot chats 'does anyone have a potion or something to cure me of
poison??'
(Invis) Trub the level 36 mage has signed on.
* (5) Trub sees Mascot is still indignant.
* (12) Mango tells her friends 'Does anyone have a potion of plague?'
* (12) Karzan doesn't know of one existing.
* (5) Mango tells Trub's friends 'or fish, or something equally horrible
that he can be told is cure poison?'
* (12) Mango tells her friends 'or how to make one...'
* (12) Mango dances around her cauldron.
You (Fastjack) get Jekyll's Potion.
You give Jekyll's Potion to Mango.
(12) You tell Mango's friends 'not plague... but not good'
* (12) Mango tells her friends 'What is it?'
(12) You tell Mango's friends 'dunno, but I wrote it so it must be bad'
* (12) Mango tells her friends 'curse, gas breath and teleport.'
(12) Mango tells her friends 'that's quite nasty. now do we have one at his level?'
(12) You tell Mango's friends 'oh *, it matters?'
* (12) Mango tells her friends 'Not sure..'
* (12) Mango tells her friends 'Who wants to give him the potion?'
* (12) Mango tells her friends 'Trub? :)'
(12) You emote to Mango's friends: Fastjack has a nasty suspicion it
does.
* (12) Trub tells Mango's friends 'I don't think he'll believe me
somehow :)'
(12) You tell Mango's friends 'yes, bury the hatchet as it were!'
* (12) Karzan will do it.
HellBorn chats 'karzan i have a str of 22 but if it will give me more
sure'
(4) Karzan tells his friends '*, he's too inexperienced'
HellBorn chats 'i have to be level 35 to quaff your potion'
* (4) Mango tells Karzan's friends 'rats.'
HellBorn chats 'how do i give you the potion back?'
* (12) Mango tells her friends 'rofl.'
* (12) Mango tells her friends 'nodrop too.'
* (12) Mango forgot about that immortal perk.
* (12) Karzan grins.
HellBorn chats 'it said i can't let go of jekyll's Potion.'
HellBorn chats 'can i drop it?'
Karzan chats 'oh, you can keep it then'
Karzan chats 'no'
You emote to chatters: Fastjack hopes it capitalised Jekyll...
HellBorn chats 'krazan what happend'
You emote to your friends: Fastjack has his priorities straight :)
Karzan chats 'it is glued to your hand, you can't let it go'
Mango chats 'someone got sticky fingers all over the test tube..'
HellBorn chats 'karzan YOU LITTLE'
You tell your friends 'quick to anger, these modern newbies'
Mango chats 'and since you weren't wearing gloves, it's stuck there :('
HellBorn chats 'ARG'
HellBorn chats 'karzan did that on purpose didnt he'
Warion shouts 'Mascot is a thief!'
. Karzan did not!
HellBorn chats 'karzan so now im basicly usless'
Warion shouts 'Mascot is a thief!'
* (4) Karzan tells his friends 'hmm stealing from his own clanmate'
Warion shouts 'Mascot is a thief!'
Teator chats 'what do you mean, now?'
Karzan chats 'yes hellborn, I'm sorry, you'll just have to fight with
your feet'
You chat 'you can still wield things'
HellBorn chats 'shoot now ill have to make a new guy'
Mango chats 'It only takes up a slot in your inventory. No biggie.
It'll disintegrate given time.'
Karzan chats 'but only if you are good'
HellBorn chats 'im satanic alignment'
Karzan chats 'that's good enough'
HellBorn chats 'now i got to make a new person'
Karzan chats 'no you don't'
Karzan chats 'it will disintegrate as mango says, and it is not actually
stuck to your hand, it's stuck to your shoulder'
You (Fastjack) chat 'help where'
Karzan chats 'type shout and then the name of the dog'
Karzan chats 'like: shout rover!!'
Karzan chats 'do it repeatedly until he shows up'
. Zartid grumbles at Karzan torturing the newbies!
You say 'have him use multi as a shortcut'
You grin.
Karzan grins.
HighTemplar chats 'the rott one but i cant spell it all the way
correctly'
Karzan chats 'abbreviations work'
Karzan chats 'shout rott'
Karzan chats 'shout rott!!'
Bluevelvet chats 'rottweiler'
HighTemplar chats 'shoot i named the dog healer like a fool'
Karzan chats 'ok now shout its nmame'
. Zartid thinks healer is a good name for a dog!
Karzan chats 'how do you expect it to come back to you if you don't
shout its name?'
HighTemplar shouts 'HEALER'
Zartid chats '...if it is good at comming to heal'
Karzan chats 'do that repeatedly until he shows up'
Karzan chats 'should take about four times'
HighTemplar shouts 'healer'
HighTemplar shouts 'healer'
HighTemplar shouts 'healer'
* (7) Zartid-> Zartid warn's Karzan 'Stop taking the mickey out of
newbies'
* (5) Karzan tells his friends 'holy *'
* (5) Karzan is trying desperately to stop laughing.
Karzan chats 'do it some more'
HighTemplar chats 'great i cant find my dog'
Karzan chats 'if he's not shown up yet'
Karzan chats 'just keep doing it, it could take a while'
Karzan chats 'some dogs are hard of hearing'
Zartid chats 'Ignore him - he's just trying to annoy'
Karzan chats 'just try it a few more times'
Karzan chats 'once i lost a parrot named polly'
Karzan chats 'i had to shout polly 18 times and finally she showed up'
Pawn chats '#^%@ I have a dexterity of 9 and a strength of 25 thats
pretty jacked up'
Orion chats 'shouldn't giant str increase your str by 3?'
Karzan chats 'how do you expect to move with muscles that big?'
Pawn chats 'I can carry 17 items, but 999 kg :P'
Mango chats 'You can fix that with multi, it multiplies your skill...'
Mango chats 'you need to do multi .'
Pawn chats 'multi?'
Mango chats 'and then type in the one you want to multiply'
* (15) Karzan tells his friends 'oh dear'
Mango chats 'the . is important'
Mango chats 'it means multiply, rather than divide'
Pawn chats 'i think you're trying to trick me'
Pawn chats 'just a thought though....'
. Karzan gasps!
Pawn chats 'yeah, I'd expect that from karzan'
Mango chats 'up to you, if you don't want dex of 22 that's your choice'
Karzan chats 'you are making a lot of accusations without evidence!'
MrWoodly chats 'how do i get to trillion?'
Karzan chats 'depends, where are you?'
MrWoodly chats 'in oxford'
Karzan chats 'ok, take a train to lancaster'
Karzan chats 'after that you're on your own'
MrWoodly chats 'where is train?'
Karzan chats 'train station'
. Brine giggles.
MrWoodly chats 'where is that '
Karzan chats 'I don't know, you'll have to find a map of oxford'
SirHumphrey chats 'www.streetmap.co.uk'
Mango chats 'erm I think you're looking at the person who wrote the name
of the area, not the area name ;-) Otherwise there's a lot of areas
called Trillion. ;-)'
Karzan chats 'Don't you want to get to Trillion though?'
MrWoodly chats 'ohhhhh I get it'
Karzan chats 'Maybe she'll cook you dinner.'
Trillion the level 21 mage has signed on.
SirHumphrey chats 'look there she is!'
Karzan chats 'Wow, that was easy'
MrWoodly chats 'speak of the devil ;-)'
Trillion chats 'Hello, all.'
Hellsfire has been killed by a professor.
Hellsfire shouts 'cool'
Alf tells you ' he shouldn't have bad mouthed the professor's coconut radio.'
Alf chats 'if you say so'
You tell Alf 'The professor is very protective of his radio.'
Alf tells you 'one second'
Alf has signed off.
Gilligan the level 1 thief has signed on.
Gilligan chats 'Hey professor i think your coconut radio wont work!'
Gilligan has been killed by a professor.
You emote to chatters: Futang giggles uncontrolably.
Hellsfire shouts 'I'm lost here in this MUD'
Gilligan chats 'but i was his little buddy!'
Gilligan has signed off.
Alf the level 49 warrior has signed on.
Alf tells you 'now i'm satisfied'
Gross Stupidity
You (Fastjack) buy a green potion.
You quaff a green potion.
The colour spray grazes you.
The colour spray grazes you.
The colour spray hurts you!
You tell your friends 'Oooooooh, Trillion is evil'
You emote to your friends: Fastjack was not expecting to lose 2/3 of his
hp from an expensive, store-bought potion.
* Mango lols, which potion?
* Trub sniggers.
You tell your friends 'green'
You tell your friends '748'
* Mango tells your friends 'What did it do?'
* Mango tells your friends 'harm ? or?'
You tell your friends '3x colour spray'
You emote to your friends: Fastjack decides not to chance any more of
his.... limited (cough) wealth.
* Brine notes that Mangos chemists sell 'interesting' items.
* Mango grins.
* Karzan tells your friends 'what sort of chemist are we talking about?'
You tell your friends 'a dodgy one, clearly'
You tell your friends 'I've never actually seen these store keepers
before'
Futang asks you 'I accidently resigned! I didn't mean to, what do I
do?'
You (Mango) tell Futang 'erm. grovel to mtf'
You tell Futang 'How did you accidentally resign anyway? :)'
Futang tells you 'didn't know what it did, so I typed it, I resigned,
there you are'
You tell Futang 'doh! you might be able to persuade mtf, but he might
just laugh at you for not reading the help :)'
You tell Futang 'worth a grovel, anyway.'
& Archangel tells the group 'oh good, bomb-fest area :)'
& Zartid tells the group 'current room is safe'
Everything shakes and rumbles as a nearby explosion hits!
The explosion wounds you!
That really did HURT!
The explosion skims Brine!
The explosion scratches Mtf.
The explosion scratches Zartid.
& Archangel tells the group 'good call, Zartid'
& Zartid tells the group 'Hmm, of course I could be wrong :)'
Mtf has suspended SirHumphrey's pfile.
SirHumphery the level 1 warrior has signed on.
You chat 'Hi SirHumphrey'
Mtf chats 'hi SirHumphrey, welcome to Turf!'
. SirHumphery grins!
SirHumphery has signed off.
Spock chats 'you shouldn't scare him so!'
. Zartid gasps! You nuked him after all!!!!
* (10) Zartid tells his friends 'He will be really angry now I bet'
(10) You tell Zartid's friends 'nah'
* (10) Zartid has his doubts he will see the funny side for quite a
while.
* (10) Zartid thinks he is right, FJ.
(10) You tell Zartid's friends 'finger him'
* (10) Zartid nods. Back again now :)
* (10) Zartid could have sworn he typed "finger sirhumphrey" afterwards
to check and the player file wasn't there.
(10) You tell Zartid's friends 'it wasn't immediately'
* (10) Zartid wonders how come.
(10) You tell Zartid's friends 'godly magic'
* (10) Hiero suspects mv was employed.
* (10) Hiero tells Zartid's friends 'twice'
* (10) Mtf exclaims to Zartid's friends 'a magician never reveals his
secrets!'
* (10) Brine would like to point out that sirhumphery not sirhumphrey
logged on.
* (10) Zartid imagines SirHumphrey pounding his head against solid
objects in frustration and anger.
* (10) Hiero tells Zartid's friends 'well Brine is a very observant
fellow'
* (10) Hiero tells Zartid's friends 'much more so than the rest of us'
* (10) Zartid tells his friends 'yes Brine... Fingered him too and
noticed the usual spelling reported "No such person in saved files"'
* (10) Mtf exclaims to Zartid's friends 'doh, so he fooled us, that is
so tricky!'
* (10) Hiero exclaims to Zartid's friends 'oh ok, everyone noticed
except me!'
* (10) Mtf tells Zartid's friends 'no he fooled both the gods'
* (10) Mtf tells Zartid's friends 'oops, all the gods'
* (10) Brine tells Zartid's friends 'err, actually there is a reason why
I noticed :)'
* (10) Hiero tells Zartid's friends 'do we reward that kind of foul
trickery round here, or punish it with a longer suspension of pfile ?
*grin*'
Mascot appears in a swirling mist.
Mascot asks you 'what is a flamer?? a weapon?'
Mascot buys a flamer from you.
Mascot tries to use a flamer, but is too inexperienced.
You tell Mascot 'probably'
Mascot tells you 'will you buy this flamer that i bought from you?? i
can't use it'
You tell Mascot 'no thanks'
Exheat has been killed by Mastermind.
Mastermind chats 'why dont i get exp for killing someone 3 lev higher
than me'
You chat 'Who was it?'
Mastermind chats 'exheat'
Mastermind chats 'who is me as well'
Mango chats 'because it wasn't much of a fight?'
Mastermind chats 'but when i considered him it said death will thank you
etc'
You chat 'Possibly also because you just KILLED a member of your OWN
CLAN?'
Mastermind chats 'but i went to the q continuim'
Mastermind chats 'i wanted to use him to gain exp'
You chat 'If you expect the gods to reward that kind of foolishness you
will probably be disappointed'
Mastermind chats 'what about if i make him flee'
You chat 'Do you normally get xp for making someone flee?'
Mastermind chats 'but i will take control of exheat and type flee'
Mango chats 'try killing players who are in a different clan'
You chat 'Try not trying to cheat :)'
Mastermind chats 'what about if one of us quits then we go to the q '
Mastermind chats 'ok well it doesn't seem to work anyway'
You chat 'Why should quitting make a difference?'
Mastermind chats 'i meant resign from the clan'
You chat 'In that case you might possibly get some minor points'
Mastermind chats 'how can there be no way to cheat'
You chat 'Because Mtf isn't an idiot?'
Mastermind chats 'all games have cheats'
Mastermind chats 'and now i have plague'
You chat 'Turf doesn't, and if it does, it still doesn't.'
Peon chats 'LOL!!'
Mastermind chats 'i'm sure mtf knows a cheat he programmed it after all
and he's a god'
Fastfox chats 'he doesn't need to cheat'
Exheat has signed off.
Fastfox chats 'he just puts on God mode'
Fastfox chats ';-)'
Mastermind chats 'i thiink i shoould be made a god'
Mastermind chats 'after all it was my genius idea to kill my other
player even if it didn't work'
Mastermind chats 'who made u a god'
Mastermind has signed off.
Atlas has been killed by a drunkard.
Atlas has fallen to level 83.
Nog chats 'errr'
Atlas chats 'WOWOW'
Nog chats 'not the oxford one?'
Thrud chats 'how did you manage that?'
. Atlas NODS!
Landa chats 'Wow.'
. Atlas had a STUPID STUPID STUPID trigger on!
Computers
* (7) Mango tells her friends 'well ninja's vibrator is supported by the
linux joystick drivers'
Karzan wants a hot-pluggable computer.
Karzan says 'whenever my computer is off I wonder if someone is trying
to email me and it is getting sent into the abyss'
Karzan says 'hmm, maybe leaving the lid off this thing was a mistake,
there are socks in here'
* (8) Frog clears his throat and sings "Oh, I would have a Turfy night;
were it not for the fact my connection's *!"
You (Bluevelvet) tell Mtf 'already asked him, he says to just rename it'
> Mtf nods, no problem then!
You exclaim to Mtf 'yeah, but that means I'm going to have to
rename them all!'
You emote to Mtf: Bluevelvet sighs.
You tell Mtf 'today is the day of the lord, one should not have
to work on such as day ;)'
You emote to Mtf: Bluevelvet giggles.
> Mtf laughs, yes today you avoid doing the work of the devil
known as bill.
* (5) Karzan tells his friends 'I think they put this "sleep" button on
these keyboards just to torture people'
* (5) Karzan tells his friends 'As it does not have the desired effect
when pressed'
(5) You (fastjack) emote to Karzan's friends: Fastjack wonders what that effect
is, in your opinion.
* (5) Karzan tells his friends 'Sleep, clearly'
* (5) Teator tells Karzan's friends 'its not as bad as 'escape''
* (6) Teator tells his friends 'or 'control''
* (5) Karzan tells his friends 'How about "Home" and "End"'
* (5) Karzan tells his friends 'Or depending on what mood you're in,
"Insert"'
* (6) HellSpawn's computer NEVER crashes.
* (6) HellSpawn tells Mango's friends 'And if it does, I'm usually
responsible.'
* (9) Mango giggles this is a good one...
* (9) Mango tells her friends 'quote from AR...'
* (9) Mango tells her friends 'one guy put an ispell based spellchecker
in his mudclient'
* (9) Mango tells her friends 'to automatically correct his outgoing
immtalks...'
* (9) Mango tells her friends 'Drylock: Crap, sepulcher fibered'
* (9) Mango tells her friends 'Nemon: night of the living dead?'
* (9) Mango tells her friends 'Drylock: Ah, I'm going to turn this
sepulcher off now.'
* (9) Mango tells her friends 'Drylock: Ago.'
* (9) Mango tells her friends 'Drylock: Can you guess what I am trying
to say? :)'
* (9) Mango tells her friends 'Nemon: you're trying to say "I have
broccoli in my socks"'
* (9) Mango tells her friends 'Drylock: Nope, it's my sepulcher.'
* (9) Mango tells her friends 'Drylock: spell checker'
* (9) Mango tells her friends 'Drylock: unfortunately, it thinks that
spell checker is spelled sepulcher'
* (9) Mango tells her friends 'Drylock: maybe ispell -X -a works better'
* (9) Mango tells her friends 'Drylock: -X'
* (9) Mango tells her friends 'Drylock: not -X . X. X!'
* (9) Mango tells her friends 'Drylock: khan.aha.'
* (9) Mango tells her friends 'Drylock: I can't even scream in
frustration properly :)'
* (9) Mango tells her friends 'Drylock: Oh well, it looks good on a
feature list :)'
You (Mango) say 'This si some radnom text that is going to overflow somse stuff
and cery soon I'll run out of things to say and I'll have to start
typing ranomg random * to fill up the buffer... twweedledum and
tweedledee agreed to have a battle cause treewdledum said tweedledee
spoiled my nice new rattle. Supercalifragilisticexpialidociuse That
wasn't very long was it really god this is getting really hard and
trub is much better at saying says that are line too long for turf.
lkasjdflkj l;j;afikj;ad jaf fl afj'
The Reaper Bot exclaims 'Snow? You'll have to do better than that!'
The Reaper Bot exclaims 'Snow? You'll have to do better than that!'
The Reaper Bot gives Mango a mop and bucket.
The Reaper Bot gives Mango a mop and bucket.
The Reaper Bot exclaims 'Watch it, Mango!'
The Reaper Bot exclaims 'Watch it, Mango!'
The Reaper Bot does a perfect in-air summersault and bows.
The Reaper Bot does a perfect in-air summersault and bows.
The Reaper Bot does a perfect in-air summersault and bows.
The Reaper Bot does a perfect in-air summersault and bows.
The Reaper Bot says 'Well, in my line of work I don't get payed to be
ethical'
The Reaper Bot says 'Well, in my line of work I don't get payed to be
ethical'
The Reaper Bot blushes.
The Reaper Bot blushes.
The Reaper Bot exclaims 'Yeah, you oughta scream, game over Mango!'
The Reaper Bot exclaims 'Yeah, you oughta scream, game over Mango!'
The Reaper Bot says 'You all that, Mango? I'll give ya ten seconds to
run...'
The Reaper Bot says 'You all that, Mango? I'll give ya ten seconds to
run...'
The Reaper Bot asks 'How about I trash you a few times to wake ya up,
Mango?'
The Reaper Bot asks 'How about I trash you a few times to wake ya up,
Mango?'
The Reaper Bot asks 'You suicidal, Mango?'
The Reaper Bot asks 'You suicidal, Mango?'
Mtf says 'yes something strange going on here clearly'
You exclaim to Mtf '(wide mouthed frog look)You don't say!'
Mtf asks 'can you manage to make it happen again?'
Mtf wonders about the little pauses.
You ask 'Which little pasuses?'
Mtf says 'oh, that is my pager :-)'
Obadiah chats 'does anyone else have a considerable increase in their
stats?'
Karzan chats 'no'
SirHumphrey chats 'nope :('
Obadiah chats 'i went from a max of 92 hp to 580 160mana to 650 and
everything else is same im still lvl 11'
You tell Obadiah 'uhoh'
You ask Cera 'could you prod mtf about obadiah if he's not already
checking it?'
Karzan chats 'oh dear'
Cera tells you 'He is already looking, thanks'
Karzan chats 'man you're lucky'
You chat 'appropriate people have been prodded'
Obadiah chats 'this sucks everything is now easy to me'
Karzan chats '(you probably shouldn't have made anyone aware of that)'
You tell Obadiah 'Mtf is looking at it - it'll be fixed shortly.'
Obadiah chats 'thx now it will take me forever to get to lvl 12'
SirHumphrey chats 'wish my stats had been improoved :('
SirHumphrey chats 'try hunting in some of the higher areas'
You (Mango) tell your friends 'Oh dear... Fastjack is going to be
*ed :)''
* Karzan asks your friends 'at what?'
* (12) Cera asks her friends 'At what?'
You tell your friends 'At me finding a bug in his code ;-)'
* Mtf tells your friends 'interesting, I clearly rely on fastjack to
check his code too much'
You tell your friends 'Who made the 250 -/- 250 mistake? (I'm assuming
it's something to do with that anyway?) ;)'
* Mtf tells your friends 'that was me, my bug for the day, but
fortunately a bug that is easily fixed and fixes its own mess
behind it'
You emote to your friends: Mango rests her case ;-)
* (11) Karzan tells his friends 'somewhere in thsi room there is a
german guz who is verz upset because he keeps switching his zs and ys
too'
* (11) Mango tells her friends '"If my dryer had an IP, I could run
traceroute to find out where the heck my socks go."'
You (Fastjack) tell your friends 'Craig says: "Today, most clothing has an
itty-bitty label with washing instructions, which most people never look
at. If the labels were smart, they could tell the washing machine to
regulate the water temperature as well as the amount of soap."'
* Karzan tells your friends 'i'd be more interested in microwave dinners
telling the microwave how long and how hot'
* Mango tells your friends 'Not if you have clothing with 10 different
labels in the machine simultaneously.'
* Karzan tells your friends 'well then you start with the least and spit
each one out as it finishes'
You tell your friends 'the microwave one is more plausable... that at
least doesn't involve dunking a (presumably) electronic transmitter in
soapy water :}'
You tell your friends 'that was a quote from a microsoft exec'
You tell your friends 'where you will go today.'
You tell your friends 'tomorrow, anyway'
* Karzan hopes he doesnt go there any time soon.
You emote to your friends: Fastjack too.
You tell your friends 'especially when some punk kid slaps a label with
some DoS code in it to my back'
* Bazza tells your friends 'hmm'
* Karzan tells your friends 'well we have to build the bridge to the
22nd century after all'
You tell your friends 'Hmm, what about smart food labels to set your
refrigerator to their unique settings :}'
You tell your friends 'or maybe * at you if you leave them out too
long'
* Bazza tells your friends 'they would all conflict :)'
* Karzan tells your friends 'they'd all fight for priority... you'd have
to renice your cheese'
* Bazza tells your friends 'or your fridge would run out of IRQ's and
crash'
* (8) Mango tells her friends 'That has to be easily be one of the most
bizarre messages I've had from gcc...'
* (8) Mango tells her friends '> gdb mudclient'
* (8) Mango tells her friends '<startup messages>'
* (8) Mango tells her friends 'Dwarf Error: Could not find abbrev number
111.'
* (8) Loon asks Mango's friends 'so it's a small problem then?'
* (12) Karzan asks his friends 'next question: does anyone know where /
is on a swedish keyboard?'
* (12) Karzan could only find swedish dos.
* (12) Mango tells Karzan's friends 'Oh dear. :)'
* (6) SirHumphrey wonders if the idea of making turf an open-source
project has been mooted?
* (6) Mango tells SirHumphrey's friends 'excuse me while i go and roll
about laughing in the corner ;-)'
* (6) SirHumphrey grins at Mango, well since most of us use linux and
linux is promoting an open source community i wondered if turf was
going to follow suit :)
* (6) Mango tells SirHumphrey's friends 'Extremely unlikely in the near
and medium term.'
* (6) Mango tells SirHumphrey's friends 'And I don't fancy its chances
in the long run much either.'
Xion chats 'i don't think it's wise to play turf while playing a game
on the computer'
Student Life
Fastjack is glad the natwest book had a manual and screenshots of how to
use cheques.
Fastjack says 'they're a bit different in the US'
Fastjack shrugs.
Mango assumes you remembered to sign it.
Fastjack nods.
Fastjack says 'I would have forgotten that, actually, since there is no
official looking line for it'
* (13) SirHumphrey notes that his flatmates have as much cooking skill
as a bunch of one armed armadillos.
. NikNak just managed to gas out the entire lab (again).
. Yss notes that NikNak tends to have a lot of gas problems.
* NikNak is a DPhil chemist, witha computer game fiztion - do you get
any geekier?
You (Mango) emote to your friends: Mango is a geek++
You tell your friends 'DPhil as in you're doing it now?'
* NikNak tells your friends 'yep'
You tell your friends 'In which case I'm a PhD Computer Scientist, who
spends all day mudding and spodding, and all evenings programming.'
* NikNak was voted in school yearbook as being "person most likely to
end up living next door to parents" :):):)
You tell your friends 'that sounds more like mummy's boy than geek :)'
* NikNak tells your friends 'mind you, it also said that I was person
most likely to marry Kylie Minogue'
> Mtf thinks the UK is somewhat awkward about students getting jobs in
the UK after university, but it would be cool if you could swing that
later too.
Mtf tells you 'perhaps you will meet a nice english girl or something'
> Mtf laughs.
Mtf tells you 'but then again I had to import a nice girl from the US'
* (9) SirHumphrey been asleep for about 11 hours.
* (9) Bluevelvet went to sleep at 9 on friday night, not normal for me.
(9) You emote to SirHumphrey's friends: Fastjack was awoken at 4AM by
his idiot flatmates committing an aesthetic atrocity in concert with
what sounded like, to the untrained ear, the heavy-metal and opera
combination version of "glory, glory halleluiah"
* (9) SirHumphrey tells his friends 'nothing unusual there then'
You emote to Mtf: Fastjack seems to be trying the top ten ways to fail
one's degree this year.
Mtf asks you 'really?'
You tell Mtf 'It seems like it'
Mtf tells you 'shame on you, we expect good grades and a PhD'
Mtf asks you 'getting too distracted?'
You tell Mtf 'I've tried MUDding, BBSs, games console, girl friend, and
meeting the girl friend for lunch. So halfway done :)'
Mtf tells you 'yes I think you are doing all the right things to turn
into a drop out :-)'
You tell your friends 'Hmm, I've organised my notes, found the
coursework documentation, dusted, and eaten 1.5 meals. If Elizabeth
doesn't show up soon I might have to work ...'
* Arcita grins.
* Mango has trimmed her essay down from 4000 words to 2600 words.
* Mango tells your friends 'of those 2600 words, about 3500 are new
today ;-)'
* Mango thinks today's paper doesn't vaguely resemble last friday's
version, apart from the title "Insert Name of Paper Here"
Life
> Mtf is making investments to support him in his old age.
You (Bluevelvet) tell Mtf 'mine is a hard life, I believe I'm being punished for
being wicked in a previous life'
> Mtf laughs.
Mtf tells you 'you need to budget :-)'
You tell Mtf 'I vaguely remember being burned as witch'
* Minnow tells your friends 'i just returned, i was in the bathroom in
case anyone wondered.'
* Minnow. o O a little more than you wanted to know?
You (Fastjack) emote to your friends: Fastjack wasn't timing you, to say the least.
* Minnow tells your friends 'well, i think i may have made record time,
i did all my business AND took a shower too.'
You tell your friends 'yes, but you just drove right through a stop
sign...'
* Minnow has to check something... be back in 5 secs.
You emote to your friends: Fastjack nods.
You tell your friends 'if Minnow was my sister I'd ask if she was going
to make sure she flushed, but my sister doesn't think about it when
she's there, so I'd be asking futily'
* Minnow tells your friends 'okay, back, i had to make sure i didn't
really run a stop sign... i.e. toilet flush, since i can't think
straight today'
* (13) SirHumphrey wishes those damn builders would stop drilling my
head - its really starting to give me a headache.
Leviathan says 'yup she is working but I'm not going out , got quite
drunk last night and still don't feel so hot'
You (Bluevelvet) giggle.
Bluevelvet got an oak toilet seat today, I thought that would interest you.
You giggle.
Leviathan has seen his toilet seat a little too closly today for his liking.
. Kenny punched himself in the mouth when brushing his teeth today.....
and it still hurts.
You (Fastjack) chat 'you can almost see darwin in action...'
* NikNak gets silly when he's drunk - good giggles :)
You (Mango) tell your friends 'Fastjack does really good giggles when he's drunk'
* Fastjack considers claiming to have only giggled stupidly when drunk
on a single occasion.
You tell your friends 'it was a good giggle though'
* NikNak has giggled a lot :)
* NikNak has also picked a fight with a brick wall, a police van, and a
pavement.
* NikNak tells your friends '2 of those in the same evening!'
. NikNak can't believe how cheap hoses are in Scotland.
You chat 'hoses?'
You chat 'Well they have a lot of rain, not much call for artificial
watering'
NikNak chats 'and the houses there too'
You tell your friends 'I'm sure glad fj is too drunk to edit the quotes
page'
* Fastjack tells your friends 'none of thse are appennening on Turdf'
* Fastjack tells your friends 'doh, you get the idea'
Jupiter yells 'cera Mine, mine, mine!!!'
Jupiter yells 'Oops, ignore that :)'
Mtf yells 'I don't think so, so, so!'
* (6) Trub asks his friends 'Is that the same Thrud who used to play
Turf before Mtf and Cera were married?'
* (6) Mtf laughs.
* (6) Mtf tells Trub's friends 'the way you phrased that question made
it sound like ancient history'
(6) You exclaim to Trub's friends 'whoa, that was ages ago!'
* (6) Trub exclaims to his friends 'Sorry!'
* (6) Trub tells his friends 'Well it's a long time in the history of
most people's mudding careers'
* (6) Mtf tells Trub's friends 'yeh I suppose, muds live and die in less
time than that'
Random
* (4) Guppy has a butt spasm.
* (4) Guppy tells her friends 'Just thought I'd mention it...'
You (Fastjack) tell your friends 'my damn lovebird is chomping on my acne :('
* Mango isn't sure she heard that one quite right.
* Guppy laughs.
* Guppy tells your friends 'How's the bird doing now? All settled in?
Does it do any tricks? Play dead, roll over, etc... '
You tell your friends 'it bites anything in its path and * all over'
* Guppy tells your friends 'Hahah! Oh sure, it could no wrong when you
first got it. ;D'
* Guppy tells your friends 'Isn't that how it always works....'
* Guppy tells your friends 'It sounds like my brother'
* Mango tells your friends 'Oh a tweet tweet bird, not your girlfriend
:)'
* Guppy grins.
* Mango thought she had been barking up the wrong tree.
You tell your friends 'Hmm, in the UK does bird usually refer to a
girlfriend rather than an avian?'
* Guppy laughs. A girlfriend that bites and * all over the place.
That'd be pleasant. Haha.
* Mango tells your friends 'well a pair of lovebirds is a couple that
can't keep their hands off each other, yes :)'
* NiNjA tells your friends 'isn't that how all women are? ;p'
* Mango tells your friends 'and lots of people term women as birds'
* Minnow tells your friends 'i wish i was sissy in that movie wooowee...
john travolta was pretty hot back then'
You (Eliza) emote to your friends: Eliza giggles.
* Minnow tells your friends 'i watch it every friday but always fall
asleep when bud has an accident on the job. that's usually when i fall
out'
You tell your friends 'yeah but he got so thick-faced and rather icky
looking'
* Minnow tells your friends 'i guess he didn't age well.'
You emote to your friends: Eliza nods.
You tell your friends 'one that did is Harrison Ford'
You tell your friends 'He was awesomely sexy in Blade-Runner'
You tell your friends 'and Witness'
You tell your friends 'and he keeps looking great'
You tell your friends 'yummy'
* Minnow tells your friends 'hmm, i'd prolly still do john travolta
after a six pack...'
You emote to your friends: Eliza laughs.
* Minnow tells your friends 'oh hell, i'd prolly do him anyway'
* Minnow tells your friends 'but the 6 pack would be my excuse'
You (Fastjack) tell your friends 'how is ribena pronounced?'
* Mango tells your friends 'erm rye bean ah'
You emote to your friends: Fastjack nods.
* Mango tells your friends 'long i, long e'
* Mango tells your friends 'short a'
You emote to your friends: Fastjack should just reverse whatever he
thinks the pronounciation of works should be...
* Karzan assumed it was short i, short e, short a, mainly because frog
was promoting it.
You emote to your friends: Fastjack nods.
You emote to your friends: Fastjack too.
You emote to your friends: Fastjack heard someone in sainsbury's say it
the other way, though.
Trub chats 'Will people stop dumping cheese in Karzan's room, some of us
are trying to run a squat here!'
& Spud has a dpey dictonalon.'
& Spud tells the group 'an a dud keybrd'
Jupiter chats 'Slayer, why not start up a friends list? It's a great
way to chat amongst your friends on here'
Slayer chats 'alf are you out there?'
Bazza chats 'Bazza, Bazza where are you? It's okay you are here. Ok pass
me the sword. Okay Bazza.'
Bazza chats 'hey Bazza Hold this'
Bazza chats 'Okay'
Slayer chats 'bazza are you feelin ok?'
. Bazza goes nuts.
Slayer chats 'ohh'
Slayer chats 'thats it'
Bazza chats 'no I was impersonating a notorious MUD player'
Slayer chats 'ok who?'
Bazza chats 'oh, you know. Just some guy'
Slayer chats 'who?'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Hmm'
Bazza chats 'Well I cant remember the name exacktly'
Slayer chats 'ohh'
Bazza chats 'exactly'
* (7) Karzan tells his friends 'there is something romantic about
travelling around leaving abandoned underwear'
(7) You (Mango) exclaim to Karzan's friends 'from whose perspective?!'
* (7) Karzan tells his friends 'well...not the perspective of those who
have to go through it'
(7) You tell Karzan's friends 'I should have put a peg on my nose before
opening the bag'
* (7) Karzan tells his friends 'oh dear'
* (7) Karzan tells his friends 'i probably wasn't practising good
hygiene the week before that'
* (7) Karzan tells his friends 'sorry'
(7) You ask Karzan's friends 'Do you want your clearasil?'
* (7) Karzan tells his friends 'the romanticism of this is quickly
disappearing'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Hmm, now I'm hooked on banana ice lollies
*sigh*'
* Echo asks your friends 'are they bent?'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Naturally'
* Karzan tells your friends 'wow'
* Echo tells your friends 'miracles of modern technology'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'No silly EU regulations over here'
* Karzan asks your friends 'is the stick straight?'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'The stick is straight'
* Echo asks your friends 'where does it extend from the mass of the
lolly?'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Actually, perhaps the lolly is bent
because I wasn't licking symmetrically'
* Echo asks your friends 'more importantly, is there a joke on the
stick?'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Yes, there's a joke'
* Echo asks your friends 'whats the question?'
* Jupiter asks your friends 'Why did the skeleton run up the tree?'
* Echo tells your friends 'hmm, im just postulating, so dont tell me the
answer'
* Jupiter hopes you don't go to too many pantomimes.
* Echo tells your friends 'i think it has something to do with being
chased by dogs cos skeletons are made of bones'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Ok, you're close'
* Echo tells your friends 'but 'cos it was being chased by the dog' isnt
a good punchline'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Actually, I don't understand the answer'
* Karzan asks your friends 'does it have to do with bark?'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Sounds better than the real answer'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'The bark would be a good answer, better
than the real one'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'The actual answer is: Because the dog'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'And if anyone can explain that to me, I'd
be grateful'
* Echo tells your friends 'jupiter, finish eating the lolly'
* Karzan tells your friends 'sounds like you haven't finished licking'
* Jupiter has finished, perhaps they ran out of ink or something.
* Echo tells your friends 'argh'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'I hope I didn't lick the ink off'
* Karzan asks your friends 'is there room for "was chasing it and dogs
can't climb trees"?'
* Echo asks your friends 'because the dog what?'
* Echo tells your friends 'it could be anything'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'There's not that much room, just enough
for a few more words'
* Echo tells your friends 'it needs to be punchy'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'See? It's more fun this way when you have
to complete the joke yourself'
* Echo tells your friends 'this is awful. buy a better grade of lolly.'
* Jupiter nods, perhaps the same joke will be on one of the others in
the box.
* Karzan tells your friends 'i'm experiencing a craving for icy treats'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Yes, they're highly addictive though'
* Echo tells your friends 'according to jokepost.com its because the dog
was after his bones'
* Karzan tells your friends 'but that's not funny at all'
* Jupiter asks your friends 'That joke is actually listed??'
* Echo tells your friends 'i think its weak, but within lolly joke
bounds'
* Jupiter asks your friends 'You mean every joke in existence is
databased?'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Not very punchy really, I see now why they
decided to omit half of it'
* Echo tells your friends 'i think its supposed to be "Because the dog
was after his bones!"'
* Echo tells your friends 'its still pretty weak actually'
* Karzan asks your friends 'why didn't the skeleton cross the road?'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Maybe it's just the way you tell it :)'
* Jupiter asks your friends 'Because the dog was after his bones??'
* Echo asks your friends 'because the tree wasnt over the road?'
* Karzan tells your friends 'he didn't have the gutws'
* Karzan tells your friends 'guts'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Ok, that's a bit better'
* Karzan asks your friends 'eat another one so we can try again?'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Maybe later'
* Echo asks your friends 'just take the wraper off so we can read the
question?'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'The joke is completely hidden inside the
body of the lolly'
* Echo tells your friends '_very_ irregular'
* Jupiter asks your friends 'I suppose now you want me to nibble away at
the base of the lolly till the question is readable?'
* Karzan tells your friends 'yes'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'No can do, sorry'
* Karzan tells your friends 'this sounds like a scheme to get you to
actually eat it'
* Echo tells your friends 'no, i want you to get a baetter brand of
lolly supplier'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Ok, these are made by Blue Bunny'
* Echo tells your friends 'the question should be visiblie from the
start'
* Echo asks your friends 'is the bunny cold?'
* Echo tells your friends 'i will avoid in future'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'If the question was visible from the
start, nobody would eat the lollies'
* Karzan tells your friends 'could be just dead'
* Echo tells your friends 'thats what the wrapper is for'
* Jupiter exclaims to your friends 'Next you'll want the jokes printed
on the outside of the box so you don't even have to buy them!'
* Echo tells your friends 'no, i mean, the wrapper is to cover the
question'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'The good people at Blue Bunny must know
what they're doing'
* Karzan tells your friends 'i think questions and answers should be
freely distributed in order to close the lolly-joke gap'
* Echo tells your friends 'you get the lolly, remove the wrapper, read
the question (out loud if there is polite company), and start
thoughtfully eating the lolly, trying to guess the answer'
* Echo tells your friends 'when the lolly is finished, you have to read
the answer to determine if your current gues is correct'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'I thought they were sort of like fortune
cookies'
* Echo tells your friends 'i guess this may be one of the things that is
differnt in other cultures tho'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'You should see some of the German ones'
You tell your friends 'not to worry, i have infinite scrollback so
you're all on the quotes page :)'
* Jupiter thinks you must have had a boring day if ice lollies are now
the most interesting :)
You tell your friends 'well the because the dog part was quite good :)'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Yes, I think they improved upon the actual
answer to be honest :)'
You emote to your friends: Mango grins.
* Echo tells your friends 'im still stunned they have banana flavoured
ice lollies which are bent like a banana'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'It's to add a touch of realism'
You tell your friends 'especially since in europe you can't even have a
banana shaped like a banana'
* Karzan asks your friends 'is that so no one gets scared and thinks
it's a real banana?'
* Echo tells your friends 'i would be slightly dismayed by it, because
ive never seen them here, but i dont actually like banana, so im not
that worried'
You tell your friends 'it might be so that you can't mistake it for a
bagel'
* Karzan tells your friends 'if someone is so stupid they think those
are bananas they deserve to be fooled'
You emote to your friends: Mango is suprised that bananas aren't
required to look exactly like cucumbers.
* Echo tells your friends 'i dont think so'
* Jupiter bought a cucumber today...
* Echo tells your friends 'even stupid people have a right to real
bananas'
* Karzan tells your friends 'ok i guess you're right'
* Karzan tells your friends 'accessibility and everything'
* Jupiter asks your friends 'Unfortunately, the girl at the register
didn't know what it was, she asked me: what is this? Is it a squash?'
You tell your friends 'damn i have a feeling there's going to be a
banana quote, part two, the bent bit'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'I replied: No, it's a cucumber'
* Echo asks your friends 'what's a squash?'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'She said: I don't think it is and then
this other girl came over and started looking at it'
You tell your friends 'the variety of cucumber i bought in the czech
republic wsa gross'
* Karzan tells your friends 'i thought you called them something other
than squash'
You ask your friends 'I'd guess a marrow == squash?'
* Karzan tells your friends 'yes, that's it'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'She told her she thought it was a cucumber'
* Karzan asks your friends 'maybe this girl had never seen cucumber that
wasn't sliced up into little circles?'
You ask your friends 'hwo can you confuse a cucumber and a marrow!?'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'She still wasn't convinced though'
* Echo tells your friends 'even im not that bad, and i hate vegetables'
* Echo tells your friends 'well, apart from carrots'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Well, it was an Engl;ish cucumber as
opposed to an American one'
* Echo tells your friends 'and peas'
* Karzan asks your friends 'what's the difference?'
* Echo tells your friends 'carrots are orange, peas are green'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'The English cucumbers are longer and
norrower and have sort of ridges running down them; the American
cucumbers are fatter and smoother and are more yellow in colour'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'I think the American ones look more like
marrows'
* Karzan tells your friends 'i've never seen a yellow cucumber. usually
they are dark green but smooth, yes'
* Echo tells your friends 'hmm, sweetcorn are actually nice'
You tell your friends 'and czech cucumbers have spikes on them and taste
gross'
* Echo asks your friends 'how come sweetcorn havent been reclassified as
fruit?'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Well, they're sort of yellow in patches
near the ends'
* Karzan tells your friends 'i've never seen this, and i've known more
than a few cucumbers in my time'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Maybe I'm getting confused with squash :)'
* Karzan tells your friends 'could be, squash all look different though'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'They call corgettes zuchinis over here,
too'
You tell your friends 'and aubergines eggplants'
* Jupiter exclaims to your friends 'Exactly!'
* Karzan tells your friends 'i can't imagine calling an italian
restaurant and asking for aubergine parmesan'
* Karzan tells your friends 'or however you spell it'
* Echo asks your friends 'are potatoes vegetables?'
* Karzan tells your friends 'they are whotsems'
* Karzan tells your friends 'tuber something'
You exclaim to your friends 'asking for an eggplant paremsan has to be
100 times worse!'
* Echo tells your friends 'oh, a completely different classification'
* Echo tells your friends 'well, i guess they deserved it'
* Karzan asks your friends 'you mean you actually have something called
aubergine parmesan??'
You tell your friends 'not as far as i know'
* Karzan tells your friends 'good, good'
You tell your friends 'but we do have aubergine gratin etc'
* Echo tells your friends 'sounds like something they would have in the
balkans'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Hmm, a vegetable is just an edible part of
a plant'
* Karzan tells your friends 'not true, vegetables are distinguishable
from fruits'
* Echo tells your friends 'that cant be right'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'Fruits don't have to be edible (sorry
Mango)'
* Karzan tells your friends 'bye'
* Echo tells your friends 'okay, goodnight'
* Jupiter tells your friends 'See you'
> Kano is sorry, was eating pet.
& Futang tells the group 'want to go back to the
future?'
& Alf tells the group 'ok, i'll be marty, you can be
doc'
& Alf grins.
& Futang tells the group 'ok'
& Futang tells the group 'so Marty, I'm going to
destroy the time machine'
& Alf tells the group 'noooo'
& Futang tells the group 'yes, it's too dangerous'
& Alf tells the group 'i want to see if i'm going to
be a rockstar!'
& Futang tells the group 'I already saw it, you're
not'
& Futang tells the group 'you grow up to be a loser,
and your son looks exactly like you'
& Alf tells the group 'this is heavy'
& Futang does not understand why everything is so
"heavy" in the future. Has the gravitational constant
been altered?
& Alf tells the group 'i don't know the reply to that'
& Futang tells the group 'there wasn't a reply'
& Futang tells the group 'the principal came up I
think'
& Futang tells the group 'pretty sad that we can
recite the movie'
& Futang tells the group 'ready?'
& Alf tells the group 'yup and yup'
Censor the level 1 psychic has signed on.
Censor drivels 'EVERYONE SHUT UP'
Censor drivels 'you're all sinful, sinful'
Censor chats 'stop being so flucking sinful'
Censor has signed off.
Karzan awaits the divine slap on the wrist.
Karzan turns into a cow!
You laugh.
Karzan exclaims 'mooooo!'
You clap at Karzan's performance.
Karzan exclaims to you 'mooooo!'
You say 'well done, Karzan'
Karzan sighs.
Fastjack chats 'mooooooo!'
Gabocha questions 'can 'bane' be singular and plural?'
Leaf answers 'Give an example of it as a plural?'
Gabocha questions 'can it or can't it'
Ewerb chats 'I've never heard of bane being plural'
Ewerb chats 'but you can say, the Persians are the Spartans' bane even
though there's lots of them'
Nog chats 'its like sheep'
Nog chats 'i think'
Gabocha chats 'so, a bane can be several things i.e 3 giants?'
Ewerb chats 'yeah, but it's still only one bane'
Gabocha chats 'ok. that's all I needed'
Gabocha chats 'thanks'
Ewerb chats 'a bane is not at all like sheep, Nog!'
* (14) Fastjack tells Karzan's friends 'Nah, if it was going strange
someone would say something completely out of the blue like 'I've got
more than 50 photos which are almost entirely of Morris dancing' or
something.'
Mango says 'I might have the rest of the close ups i ordered by then,
too'
Surreal
* Mtf is not loved.
* NikNak will love you mtf ;p.
* Mtf spares himself.
* Frog tells your friends 'Oh no you don't, NikNak! You're not adding
Mtf to your list of conquests! :)'
* Mtf heard what you had to say earlier and is staying well away.
* NikNak sulks once more.
* Mtf moved to Sweden because of NikNak.
* NikNak points out that his list of "conquests" is very small.
* Mtf no longer felt safe in the UK.
* NikNak will hunt you down like the dog you are :)
* NikNak tells your friends 'you will only have your skill and cunning
to protect you'
* Mtf carries a rather large shotgun in future.
* NikNak tells your friends '#I don't want no-body else.... when I think
about you I touch myself.... oooh#'
* NikNak grins.
* Mtf suspects there is a warped individual somewhere here.
* Mtf tells your friends 'too much caffeine no doubt'
* NikNak looks over his shoulder...
You emote to your friends: NiNjA nods.
* NikNak tells your friends 'moi?'
You emote to your friends: NiNjA wonders if there is a non-warped
individual here?
* Maharet tells your friends 'No way. Warped individual around here?'
* (4) Mango tells her friends 'My PhD'
* (4) NikNak tells Mango's friends 'in what field???'
* (4) Mtf tells Mango's friends 'one with cows in it'
* (4) Mtf tells Mango's friends 'it lies just to the east of the
university :-)'
* (4) NikNak tells Mango's friends 'you should go on tour with that...
you might sell out some places....'
* (4) NikNak tells Mango's friends 'job day the stick to... make a
sentance out of these words....'
* (4) Mtf tells Mango's friends 'job the stick today?'
* (4) Mtf tells Mango's friends 'stick the job today'
* (4) Mtf tells Mango's friends 'very good'
* (4) Mtf tells Mango's friends 'you think I have a future then?'
* (4) Mango tells her friends 'Stick to the day job.'
* (4) NikNak tells Mango's friends 'some future - but not if you do
jokes in public'
* (4) NikNak tells Mango's friends 'then your future may involve an A&E
ward'
(4) You (Fastjack) tell Mango's friends 'A&E?'
Mtf tells you 'A&E is actually Accident and Emergency, what you call the
Emergency Room'
* (4) Mtf tells Mango's friends 'an Acting & Entertainment ward?'
* (4) Mtf tells Mango's friends 'you missed the A in Award'
* (4) NikNak tells Mango's friends 'acting and entertainment.... not the
last time that I went there... more sort of screaming kids and blood'
* (4) Mtf tells Mango's friends 'back to the field again, most
interesting'
* (4) Mtf tells Mango's friends 'but is a goat birth really that bad?'
* (4) Loon wonders how you had a conversation get around to goat birth.
* (4) Loon is confused.
* (4) NikNak tells Mango's friends 'well - it all depends how you want
to summon hellfire'
* (4) NikNak tells Mango's friends 'there is the goat option, but you
could just use a small tube of chocolate, and a golf ball'
SirHumphrey drivels 'eek! can't remember what time my doctors
appointment is tonight'
Percy chats 'what's wrong with you sirh?'
Percy chats 'are you pregnant?'
You chat 'bad memory'
SirHumphrey chats 'nothing, just got to have a medical'
Percy chats 'ooooohhhhhh. you could be pregnant and not know it then'
Percy chats 'they will tell you i think'
Percy chats 'are you normally quite regular?'
. SirHumphrey's job depends upon the result of this medical.
You drivel 'i think you can sue for discrimination if they refuse to
take you because you're pregnant'
Percy chats 'you'd better not be pregnant then, cos i think you have to
have been owkring for a company for 2 years before you get maternity
leave'
? SirHumphrey boggles.
Percy drivels 'is this this job that involves marrying me'
? SirHumphrey nods.
Percy drivels 'i hope so'
Percy drivels 'are there any photos of you online sirh, so i know what
i'm marrying?'
SirHumphrey drivels 'try the turf website'
You drivel 'turfmeet photos page has a few when he gets up in the
morning. then you'll really know what you're marrying'
Percy chats 'ok'
Percy chats 'just off to look'
? SirHumphrey grrs - knew i should have confinscated that camera off of
you mango.
Percy chats 'which meet?'
SirHumphrey chats 'lancaster premeet'
Percy chats 'on my way...'
SirHumphrey chats 'look a bit different since then'
Percy chats 'hum, decidely less spoddy than i thought...'
Percy drivels 'where you sleeping with fastjack then?'
Percy chats 'thinner than i'm used to, but very lovely.'
Percy chats 'i think we'll have a happy marriage'
. SirHumphrey grins.
Percy chats 'i'm sure niknak won't mind me going for a thinner and
updated model'
Trub shouts 'Behold! The teapot is coming! Be afraid, foul sinners,
for the time of brewing is upon us! Blessed are those who approach
the teapot bearing plates of hot buttered toast. As for the rest of
you, miserable coffee drinkers, your past is about to catch up with
you. This is my testimony. Take heed, for kingdoms are clay, and
foundations of clay kingdoms are weak, but the teapot is forever, and
the name of the teapot is Darjeeling.'
Karzan shouts 'yea'
Karzan shouts 'the kingdom of tea is upon us'
Darjeeling shouts 'It is time.'
Darjeeling shouts 'It has come to pass that the time which you have
feared for an eternity, has arrived, bringing with it the end of time
itself, and thus creating a bizarre paradox which I won't bother
explaining unless you want me to.'
Karzan shouts 'yea, explain it to us great brew'
Darjeeling shouts 'Oh time, you know, it passes. When you're a teapot
like me it seems to pass very quickly, although it still takes a long
time. All things are relative I guess.'
Karzan shouts 'that's the paradox?'
Darjeeling shouts 'Must I?'
Karzan shouts 'yes'
! Darjeeling sighs, arrive at the end of time and some bloody yank wants
you to explain things.
Darjeeling shouts 'It arises out of the fact that time has ended, yet
still appears to pass'
Karzan shouts 'something about a singularity maybe?'
Darjeeling shouts 'yes'
Karzan shouts 'the point at which the tea boils?'
Darjeeling shouts 'The tea has yet to boil'
Darjeeling shouts 'As the temperature in the teapot rises, the speed of
time slows'
Karzan shouts 'but if the tea boils when time ends, when do we get to
enjoy it?'
Darjeeling shouts 'At the point at which the tea boils, the PUH! The
whole china cupboard will cease to exist, and nothing but cucumber
sandwiches will remain.'
Darjeeling shouts 'Foul coffee drinker! A true tea drinker would know
that tea should be made with water which is not quite boiling. And
you have missed my point.'
Karzan shouts 'what's yer point?'
Darjeeling shouts 'The end of china tea services is not the end of
existance, it is merely the end of time, and the end of the need for
kettles'
Darjeeling shouts 'Once the tea has boiled, then those who are true
drinkers of the one brew, will live with me in the kingdom of four
o'clock in the afternoon for ever and ever.'
Darjeeling shouts 'Step forward and receive of the eternal char.'
Dodgy
. NikNak is back.
* NikNak tells your friends 'have eloped to a different terminal, one
that's not got workmen dripping on it'
* NikNak has a dilemma.
* NikNak tells your friends 'just received a *VERY* swanky party invite
to a gorgeous girls party'
* NikNak tells your friends 'problem is - she's only 18, and I was her
tutor for a while'
You (Mango) tell your friends 'so?'
You tell your friends 'where's the problem?'
* NikNak tells your friends 'is it ethical to attend?'
You tell your friends 'Not only is it ethical to attend, it's also
ethical to * her :)'
* NikNak is worried about people thinking that he is a lech.
* NikNak tells your friends 'well, thats about as frank about it as you
can get :)'
You tell your friends 'how come you got an invite anyway?'
* NikNak is intimidated by the invite.
* NikNak tells your friends 'dunno how i got it, just arrived in the
post todya'
* NikNak hasn't spoken to her for about 5 months.
You tell your friends 'I'd go then. Maybe she wants to * you :)'
* NikNak tells your friends 'teh thought has crossed myt mind'
You emote to your friends: Mango can't think of any reason to give
someone she hasn't seen in 5 months an invite, other than that.
* NikNak tells your friends 'especially seeing as she's drop dead, and
very *able indeed'
* NikNak tells your friends 'there is a 6 year age difference though'
You tell your friends 'There was an 11 year age different between me and
my ex.'
You tell your friends 'Which was incidentally the same age difference as
between him and my parents.'
* NikNak tells your friends 'that';s just plain weird though :D'
* NikNak is probably going to go.
SirHumphrey drivels '11am in the f* morning and the couple in the room
next door start shagging :( how inconsiderate is that'
You (Frog) drivel 'What, that they didn't invite you?'
You drivel 'That's a blooming outrage, mate!'
? SirHumphrey is trying to program but can't cos of teh sounds of
someone faking an orgasm.
You drivel 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Or just yell loudly in
suggestive javascript.'
? SirHumphrey wonders how that goes : int male, female = 0.
SirHumphrey drivels 'male += female'
SirHumphrey drivels 'repeat'
SirHumphrey drivels 'female = female + male'
SirHumphrey drivels 'until female > limit'
SirHumphrey drivels 'or something like that anyway'
SirHumphrey tells you 'its obvious she is faking her orgasm because : 1.
they've only be shgging for 5 mins, 2: it sounds like someone is
whipping a puppy, 3. you can here it all over a 3 storey house and 4.
it just doesn't sound right'
? SirHumphrey just notices that the above code is an infinite loop.
You drivel 'Sounds good to me! :)'
* (9) SirHumphrey is glad Fastjack isn't here otherwise i might have to
worry bout that ending up in the quotes page.
You tell SirHumphrey 'I see. :) I think you should add to the noise
pollution, really. Or yell that if they don't stop whipping that puppy
you'll call the RSPCA.'
> SirHumphrey wonders what would happen if i DID ring the RSPCA and hold
the phone up to the wall!!!
* (9) Mango thinks you'd have to worry about that anyway.
(9) You emote to SirHumphrey's friends: Frog smiles.
* (9) SirHumphrey tells his friends 'is that i do have to worry, or i
don't have to worry'
* (9) Mango tells SirHumphrey's friends 'you do'
You tell SirHumphrey 'Go ahead! Do it! :)'
* (9) SirHumphrey sighs - me and my big mouth.
(9) You tell SirHumphrey's friends 'I have some extra stuff, Mango! :)
Involving whipping puppies! :)'
(9) You emote to SirHumphrey's friends: Frog grins.
* (9) SirHumphrey wonders what he's done other than to worship the devil
known as Java.
You (Mango) emote to your friends: Mango groans as a comment "Might want
KeyListener" mutates to "Might Wank KeyListener" under her rightr hand.
* NikNak tells your friends 'a common problem with right hand overusage'
* NikNak tells your friends 'not so tricky for girls, I imagine :)'
* NikNak has knackered his right wrist totally.
You emote to your friends: Mango wonders what doing. Or shouldn't I ask
from the previous topic?
* (13) Mango tells her friends 'Why does everyone want to eat me?'
* (13) NikNak tells Mango's friends 'nice and fruity?'
* (13) NikNak tells Mango's friends 'of course - you have to get the
marinade right'
You (Mango) chat 'Anyone got any magic ingredients for a winter vegetable stew?'
. NiNjA has lots of ingredients for making magic cake... ;)
* (13) NikNak is apparently "a lovely fluffy cuddle bunny" whatever that
means.
You (Fastjack) emote to your friends: Fastjack wonders if that is almost quotable.
* NikNak tells your friends 'the cuddle bunny bit.... why do I always
press "enter"'
* NikNak tells your friends 'I know that it's a mistake... but I can't
help myself'
Karzan says 'there is a weird guy with a funny hat sitting across from
me'
Karzan says 'i think he's loooking at pr0n'
Karzan says 'maybe he is a h4x0r'
Karzan says 'i have been informed by certain sources that he is the one
who was staring leeringly at our bodice'
Karzan says 's'
You (Mango) ask 'you going to a transvestite party?'
Karzan thinks . o O ( is it the alcohol that makes me look sexy, or the
toilet mirror )
Horace chats 'anyone know what level area is women's shirts?'
Mango chats 'oh definitely 16+'
You wartalk 'But it was * cold down there'
Mango wartalks 'well yeah, it was early may and you were camping...'
Mango wartalks 'in a 8 quid sleeping bag'
You wartalk 'Yes'
You wartalk 'Anyway, a new sleeping bag still wouldn't zip together'
Mango wartalks 'yeah, but you would have been warm'
You wartalk 'Perhaps, depends how much yanking happened'
Splat chats 'The candlemaker tells you 'Cover your nakedness with a
black candle for just 170 gold coins.'
You emote to your friends: Mango wonders how big the candle is?
* Arcita snickers.
Conspiracy Theories
* Teator thinks mango has clearly never been transported thru time and
had to ask people the date, and then get annoyed when they dont tell
you the year and you have to shout "The year!! What year?!!" at them
and have them say "whhaaa-?" at you and then you have to run off
because you nearly gave away the fact you have been transported thru
time, and that would be bad because then people would think you were
crazy and have you locked up and then you wouldnt be able to complete
whatever your secret mission wa.
* Teator tells your friends 'not that having a watch which did have the
year on it would help you the first time, but at least you wouldnt
have to ask twice.'
* (15) Karzan asks his friends 'does anyone else think the photos on the
Resort web page make it look like a cult trying to recruit people?'
* (15) Karzan tells his friends 'seriously -- everyone is smiling
broadly and having suspiciously sunny picnics, it looks like a suicide
cult'
* (15) Karzan tells his friends 'or a timeshare brochure'
* (15) Karzan tells his friends 'they even ask for donations'
(15) You (Fastjack) ask Karzan's friends 'Whereas the Turf photos make us all look
reassuringly abnormal?'
* (15) Karzan tells his friends 'exactly'
* (15) Jupiter tells Karzan's friends 'No comment :)'
(15) You tell Karzan's friends 'Speaking of which, meet photos going up
shortly'
* (15) Mango tells Karzan's friends 'the photos i have here definitely
don't make us look normal'
* (15) Karzan asks his friends 'do we get to see more than fastjack
locked in a walk-in freezer with a puzzle?'
Splat tells you 'Only 467 xp, but that is probably partially because I
ran away so many times, and partly because I kept considering it, and
partly because I'm not Kano and the baggage carousel isn't a waypoint.'
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